Does that make schwarz-rot-grün the Tigerente-Plus-Günter-Koalition?
Sunday, 13 September 2009
Off-topic: Tigerentenkoalition
Seriously, WTF? Totally Wort des Jahres. Merkel was right to challenge the host on how ridiculous a term it is.
Does that make schwarz-rot-grün the Tigerente-Plus-Günter-Koalition?
Does that make schwarz-rot-grün the Tigerente-Plus-Günter-Koalition?
Sunday, 16 August 2009
I'm Not Dead, Just Floating
Don't worry folks, I'm not dead. So why has this blog been abandoned since April? That's a really good question.
For one thing, I was travelling in central Europe some of the time. But the real answer: attempting to cover every national final was simply too big a task. In both 2007 and 2008, I only managed to review about half the songs and performances. I have a full-time job and a life to manage, and as it turned out, trying to cover around 650 songs from over 40 countries was more than was feasible. I stopped enjoying it - it became a task, not a pleasure.
Of course I enjoyed discovering great artists like Hera Björk, Janni Santillan and sevdahBABY, to name a few, as well as watching comic horrors like Anri Jokhadze - but in future, I'm just going to listen to the MP3s. Like everyone else does. After all, at the end of the day, this blog is about great music - not about costume changes, ribbon dances or campy Stalin mini-musicals (yes, Anzi, I'm looking at you again). Well, it's about those too, but the music comes first. And I simply no longer have either the time or the energy to plough through several hundred YouTube videos of wildly varying quality each year.
So what did I think of Eurovision this year? In a word: not impressed. OK, so that's two words, but you get the gist. Though I didn't cover them here, I live-twittered both semis and the final on a private account. Semifinal 1 was enjoyable but middling, and in my opinion, the wrong songs qualified; of my 10 favourite songs, only 3 made it through. Semifinal 2 was fabulous - an outstanding, entertaining, quirky, musically diverse show from start to finish, possibly better even than the second semifinal in 2008. And yet, when the results came through, it was once again a huge disappointment - only 3 of my 10 personal choices made it into the final. By the time the final came around, I'd already tuned out. And when Norway developed a huge lead within the first 10 minutes of voting, I stopped being a Eurovision fan - at least not in its present form.
What we witnessed in 2009 was a "mainstream-ization" of the contest. All of the most original, daring, off-the-wall, unconventional, musically inspired entries failed to make it through the semis. In general, the better I thought a song was, the worse it fared. By and large, the songs which qualified - and which went on to take the top 3 spots in the final - were bland, mainstream, middle-of-the-road, radio-friendly, musically uninspired numbers - inoffensively pleasant musical wallpaper, suitable for an unsophisticated mass audience with no real appreciation of popular music or even an interest in music at all. In short, this year's soporific Eurovision final was music for people who don't like music. No wonder, then, that non-fans are proclaiming it as the highest quality final ever. The real fan community knows that's hogwash. The 2005 and 2007 finals, both classics, were far, far stronger than this year, as was the underrated 2008. The 2009 final was on a low with 2006 as one of the dullest Eurovision finals in memory. And, as in 2006, something rubbish from Scandinavia won with a record margin.
In my entirely biased opinion, "Fairytale" is one of the weakest songs to ever win Eurovision. I'd take Viktor, erm, I mean Dima Bilan or even Lordi over Rybak anyday, and that's really saying something. In terms of saccharine obnoxiousness, it's beaten only by "Fly On The Wings Of Love" from 2000. Yet it does have some musical value. I'll give it its due. Was it the best song of the contest? Absolutely not. Was it even one of the best 20 songs? Again, no. Because it's uninspired drivel. But it was well performed, and what it did, it did well. It knew its target audience, aimed itself cunningly and mercilessly at them, and reaped the rewards. And anyway, in terms of sheer wretchedness, no winner - no matter how bad - will probably ever be able to match 2003's "Everyway That I Can" (sic), almost undoubtedly set to remain Eurovision's rubbishest winner.
I know a fair number of Eurovision fans ranging from casual to diehard, and none of them particularly liked "Fairytale". Without wishing to sound like a snob, the few people I know who did like it are all the type of people who own about 10 CDs. Or in some cases, LPs. The "massive passive", the casual viewing lumpenproletariat, whose critical opinion ranges from "it's nice" at one end of the scale to "it's weird" or "I don't like it" at the other. And by being the absolute epitome of "nice", "Fairytale" and Rybak mobilised the power of the "massive passive", tapping into the "oh, that's nice" vote from bourgeouis, non-musical audiences across the continent to ensure a record victory.
I'm starting to realise that as a self-appointed expert in European pop with highly diverse tastes, my preferences are the opposite of the mainstream voting public. Not only that, they only partially overlap with those of the average Eurovision fan.
Anyway, next topic: the relaunch. Like Charlotte Perrelli did last year, Never Stop The Europop will be returning in January 2010 with a facelift and a mission. I'll probably continue to post occasional "daily picks" over the coming months. But in terms of Eurovision and the European pop scene, it all kicks off next year. Watch this space. Or better still, don't - go and play outside! I love you all, darlings ;-)
For one thing, I was travelling in central Europe some of the time. But the real answer: attempting to cover every national final was simply too big a task. In both 2007 and 2008, I only managed to review about half the songs and performances. I have a full-time job and a life to manage, and as it turned out, trying to cover around 650 songs from over 40 countries was more than was feasible. I stopped enjoying it - it became a task, not a pleasure.
Of course I enjoyed discovering great artists like Hera Björk, Janni Santillan and sevdahBABY, to name a few, as well as watching comic horrors like Anri Jokhadze - but in future, I'm just going to listen to the MP3s. Like everyone else does. After all, at the end of the day, this blog is about great music - not about costume changes, ribbon dances or campy Stalin mini-musicals (yes, Anzi, I'm looking at you again). Well, it's about those too, but the music comes first. And I simply no longer have either the time or the energy to plough through several hundred YouTube videos of wildly varying quality each year.
So what did I think of Eurovision this year? In a word: not impressed. OK, so that's two words, but you get the gist. Though I didn't cover them here, I live-twittered both semis and the final on a private account. Semifinal 1 was enjoyable but middling, and in my opinion, the wrong songs qualified; of my 10 favourite songs, only 3 made it through. Semifinal 2 was fabulous - an outstanding, entertaining, quirky, musically diverse show from start to finish, possibly better even than the second semifinal in 2008. And yet, when the results came through, it was once again a huge disappointment - only 3 of my 10 personal choices made it into the final. By the time the final came around, I'd already tuned out. And when Norway developed a huge lead within the first 10 minutes of voting, I stopped being a Eurovision fan - at least not in its present form.
What we witnessed in 2009 was a "mainstream-ization" of the contest. All of the most original, daring, off-the-wall, unconventional, musically inspired entries failed to make it through the semis. In general, the better I thought a song was, the worse it fared. By and large, the songs which qualified - and which went on to take the top 3 spots in the final - were bland, mainstream, middle-of-the-road, radio-friendly, musically uninspired numbers - inoffensively pleasant musical wallpaper, suitable for an unsophisticated mass audience with no real appreciation of popular music or even an interest in music at all. In short, this year's soporific Eurovision final was music for people who don't like music. No wonder, then, that non-fans are proclaiming it as the highest quality final ever. The real fan community knows that's hogwash. The 2005 and 2007 finals, both classics, were far, far stronger than this year, as was the underrated 2008. The 2009 final was on a low with 2006 as one of the dullest Eurovision finals in memory. And, as in 2006, something rubbish from Scandinavia won with a record margin.
In my entirely biased opinion, "Fairytale" is one of the weakest songs to ever win Eurovision. I'd take Viktor, erm, I mean Dima Bilan or even Lordi over Rybak anyday, and that's really saying something. In terms of saccharine obnoxiousness, it's beaten only by "Fly On The Wings Of Love" from 2000. Yet it does have some musical value. I'll give it its due. Was it the best song of the contest? Absolutely not. Was it even one of the best 20 songs? Again, no. Because it's uninspired drivel. But it was well performed, and what it did, it did well. It knew its target audience, aimed itself cunningly and mercilessly at them, and reaped the rewards. And anyway, in terms of sheer wretchedness, no winner - no matter how bad - will probably ever be able to match 2003's "Everyway That I Can" (sic), almost undoubtedly set to remain Eurovision's rubbishest winner.
I know a fair number of Eurovision fans ranging from casual to diehard, and none of them particularly liked "Fairytale". Without wishing to sound like a snob, the few people I know who did like it are all the type of people who own about 10 CDs. Or in some cases, LPs. The "massive passive", the casual viewing lumpenproletariat, whose critical opinion ranges from "it's nice" at one end of the scale to "it's weird" or "I don't like it" at the other. And by being the absolute epitome of "nice", "Fairytale" and Rybak mobilised the power of the "massive passive", tapping into the "oh, that's nice" vote from bourgeouis, non-musical audiences across the continent to ensure a record victory.
I'm starting to realise that as a self-appointed expert in European pop with highly diverse tastes, my preferences are the opposite of the mainstream voting public. Not only that, they only partially overlap with those of the average Eurovision fan.
Anyway, next topic: the relaunch. Like Charlotte Perrelli did last year, Never Stop The Europop will be returning in January 2010 with a facelift and a mission. I'll probably continue to post occasional "daily picks" over the coming months. But in terms of Eurovision and the European pop scene, it all kicks off next year. Watch this space. Or better still, don't - go and play outside! I love you all, darlings ;-)
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
Spain 2009: El Retorno Final
Won:
1st: Soraya - La noche es para mí (22 points)
Lost:
2nd: Melody - Amante de la luna (22 points)
Very Spanish pop, with a bunch of topless men in waistcoats dancing around. It's pure flamenco, very Spanish indeed, but not that great. Really, the song is absolutely nothing to write home about - it's the Vivancos, the flamenco dance troupe, that everyone's been raving about. But after they withdrew their participation, they were replaced by a bunch of phoned-in dancers in identical outfits (above). Not a patch. Without them, this is nothing - Melody herself is barely relevant, and the song is like a thousand other standard Spanish or Portuguese songs you've heard before. Surprisingly bland given the hype - glad this didn't win.
3rd: Santa Fe - Samba House (16 points)
I have absolutely no idea what I make of this. I have no idea whether it's good or bad. At least it's original. It reminds me of many things, yet is ultimately unlike any of them. All I know is it's quite fun, very energetic, and makes me laugh for some reason.
4th: Mirela - Nada es comparable a ti (13 points)
Is this going to be the Spanish Sinead O'Connor? Not quite. It's a very competent, very classy ballad, with a strong performance from Mirela. I love the song; it's understated and surprisingly powerful. The only negative: the staging and choreography are entirely unsuited to the song - green lasers are flashing everywhere and some men are doing a ridiculous dance. It's all just an unnecessary distraction. The song is strong indeed, with brill vocals from an unfazed Mirela, especially in the bridge. Good stuff.
5th: Virginia - True Love (11 points)
Another Big Ballad. Virginia has a really lovely voice and knows how to use it well - she persents the song professionally and emotively. By the time the chorus comes in, I realise I absolutely love this. It's tender, sincere, fragile, heartfelt, wrenching and beautiful - and both singer and song are a revelation. The interplay between Spanish and English works well. There are no words for Virginia's performance - well, no, there are: touching, flawless, incredible. My only complaint is that the song seems to end rather suddenly.
6th: Isi - Ahora no (11 points)
A vamp in a leather catsuit stood on a podium. The song is a formula stomper, perhaps slightly above average but still nothing to really write home about. Performance is good. Ends after just two and a half minutes.
7th: La La Love You - Dame un beso (9 points)
A fun, poppy punk number. It's cacophonous, of course, but it doesn't take itself seriously and is good-natured and jokey. The band are all wearing pink, and there's a girl on stage operating a candy floss machine and handing out candy floss to the audience. Now she's just chucked some water over one of the guitarists. Song's alright but not a keeper. Fun performance.
8th: Julia Bermejo - Ya no estás (4 points)
A blond girl with a big theatrical ballad. It's modern, well-performed, respectable and competent. We like. Quite a good song, and good vocals from Julia, but no classic.
9th: Jorge González - Si yo vengo a enamorarte (4 points)
Generic latin pop. Not bad. Better than could be expected, in fact. I like it, I respect it, but I don't love it. There's even a cursory ribbon dance right at the end...
10th: Salva Ortega - Lujuria (3 points)
A Ricky Martin copy. Everything about this is directly cloned, from the singer's look to the dancers, stage presentation and especially the structure of the song. While it's not a plagiarism per se (the melody is original), the production, structure and overall sound are directly based on "Livin' La Vida Loca" and "She Bangs". As a piece of music, I can't get worked up about it - it's Ricky Martin without the tune.
11th: Noelia Cano - Cruza los dedos (1 points)
Fabulous technopop. It's like Haffi Haff, except with a (good) female singer and male dancers. Great beat, enjoyable tune, and funky industrial production with blips and grinds - but I'm not sure that it's melodically strong enough to be a keeper. Also loving the performance, fashion and outfits.
12th: Gran Baobab - Despedida de soltero (0 points)
Fun latin jazz. This is enjoyable, professional and authentic, and I don't think it deserved to come last.
Summing up the Spanish selection this year: better than last year's disaster, but still a very mixed bag. Out of 30 songs, most were middling and many poor, and the whole thing seemed somewhat dull. There has to be more exciting and progressive music in Spain than what's on offer here!
1st: Soraya - La noche es para mí (22 points)
Lost:
2nd: Melody - Amante de la luna (22 points)
Very Spanish pop, with a bunch of topless men in waistcoats dancing around. It's pure flamenco, very Spanish indeed, but not that great. Really, the song is absolutely nothing to write home about - it's the Vivancos, the flamenco dance troupe, that everyone's been raving about. But after they withdrew their participation, they were replaced by a bunch of phoned-in dancers in identical outfits (above). Not a patch. Without them, this is nothing - Melody herself is barely relevant, and the song is like a thousand other standard Spanish or Portuguese songs you've heard before. Surprisingly bland given the hype - glad this didn't win.
3rd: Santa Fe - Samba House (16 points)
I have absolutely no idea what I make of this. I have no idea whether it's good or bad. At least it's original. It reminds me of many things, yet is ultimately unlike any of them. All I know is it's quite fun, very energetic, and makes me laugh for some reason.
4th: Mirela - Nada es comparable a ti (13 points)
Is this going to be the Spanish Sinead O'Connor? Not quite. It's a very competent, very classy ballad, with a strong performance from Mirela. I love the song; it's understated and surprisingly powerful. The only negative: the staging and choreography are entirely unsuited to the song - green lasers are flashing everywhere and some men are doing a ridiculous dance. It's all just an unnecessary distraction. The song is strong indeed, with brill vocals from an unfazed Mirela, especially in the bridge. Good stuff.
5th: Virginia - True Love (11 points)
Another Big Ballad. Virginia has a really lovely voice and knows how to use it well - she persents the song professionally and emotively. By the time the chorus comes in, I realise I absolutely love this. It's tender, sincere, fragile, heartfelt, wrenching and beautiful - and both singer and song are a revelation. The interplay between Spanish and English works well. There are no words for Virginia's performance - well, no, there are: touching, flawless, incredible. My only complaint is that the song seems to end rather suddenly.
6th: Isi - Ahora no (11 points)
A vamp in a leather catsuit stood on a podium. The song is a formula stomper, perhaps slightly above average but still nothing to really write home about. Performance is good. Ends after just two and a half minutes.
7th: La La Love You - Dame un beso (9 points)
A fun, poppy punk number. It's cacophonous, of course, but it doesn't take itself seriously and is good-natured and jokey. The band are all wearing pink, and there's a girl on stage operating a candy floss machine and handing out candy floss to the audience. Now she's just chucked some water over one of the guitarists. Song's alright but not a keeper. Fun performance.
8th: Julia Bermejo - Ya no estás (4 points)
A blond girl with a big theatrical ballad. It's modern, well-performed, respectable and competent. We like. Quite a good song, and good vocals from Julia, but no classic.
9th: Jorge González - Si yo vengo a enamorarte (4 points)
Generic latin pop. Not bad. Better than could be expected, in fact. I like it, I respect it, but I don't love it. There's even a cursory ribbon dance right at the end...
10th: Salva Ortega - Lujuria (3 points)
A Ricky Martin copy. Everything about this is directly cloned, from the singer's look to the dancers, stage presentation and especially the structure of the song. While it's not a plagiarism per se (the melody is original), the production, structure and overall sound are directly based on "Livin' La Vida Loca" and "She Bangs". As a piece of music, I can't get worked up about it - it's Ricky Martin without the tune.
11th: Noelia Cano - Cruza los dedos (1 points)
Fabulous technopop. It's like Haffi Haff, except with a (good) female singer and male dancers. Great beat, enjoyable tune, and funky industrial production with blips and grinds - but I'm not sure that it's melodically strong enough to be a keeper. Also loving the performance, fashion and outfits.
12th: Gran Baobab - Despedida de soltero (0 points)
Fun latin jazz. This is enjoyable, professional and authentic, and I don't think it deserved to come last.
Summing up the Spanish selection this year: better than last year's disaster, but still a very mixed bag. Out of 30 songs, most were middling and many poor, and the whole thing seemed somewhat dull. There has to be more exciting and progressive music in Spain than what's on offer here!
Sunday, 19 April 2009
Spain 2009: El Retorno Semifinal 3
Won:
1st: Santa Fe - Samba House (24 points)
2nd: Mirela - Nada es comparable a ti (18 points)
3rd: Isi - Ahora no (17 points)
4th: Julia Bermejo - Ya no estás (14 points)
Lost:
5th: El Secreto de Álex - Por esta vez (13 points)
Really good pop-rock, with joyous guitars and a real 60s summer feeling. The lead singer gives a great performance - strong vocals, but lots of acting and camera interaction too - it's a proper performance which more than does the song justice. By far the best thing we've seen in Spain in so far - the melody and guitar line are just fantastic. A shame this didn't go further.
6th: Dulce - Bésame (8 points)
Sounds like a 2002 Eurovision entry from some anonymous Mediterranean country. It's a good piece of summery pop, complete with WHITE OUTFITS and random BIG DRUMS. How many more 21st century Eurovision cliches can we pack in? A lesbian dance, perhaps? Some of the vocals are slightly painful towards the end, but I'll give it a pass - good song, good performance.
=7th: Remembrances - Espejismo (7 points)
And it's the Spanish Evanescence. The song is good, but it's not the most confident vocal performance I've heard - she's mostly in tune, but it could do with a bit more strength; her vocals sound a little wobbly in places. The woman flailing around behind her dressed as a shuttlecock is entirely unnecessary.
=7th: Biquini - Una chica normal (7 points)
More full-on 60s flower-power stuff. In Spanish. Natch. And entirely out of tune. Natch. In fact, I can't even tell what melody they're trying to sing, or what this is even supposed to sound like. Without doubt, this is the most atrociously out-of-tune performance I've ever witnessed. No amount of mindlessly gleeful hand jiving can rescue it. Someone should warn Macedonia's "XXL" that they have competition. The song ends; as Biquini leave the stage, there is a mixture of cheering and booing. Some people are saying "Boo-erns". That says it all. "Una chica normal"? "Una chica atonal" would be more like it.
9th: Beatriz - ¿Dónde te metes? (5 points)
And it's the return of the upside-down question mark! How we've missed you, ¿.
Upbeat country music, complete with a bunch of guys and gals in cowboy hats, line-dancing. The song is alright, and Beatriz certainly gives an animated performance. Apart from the fact it's in Spanish, this is one of the more authentic country songs I've heard in this year's selections. It's genuinely fun.
10th: Solydo - Tú (3 points)
TECHNO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, who cares about the vocals? It's just nice to hear a great beat like that. The tune's not bad, and there's a nice dark vibe to the whole thing. With a proper presentation and stronger vocals, this wouldn't have embarassed Spain at Eurovision - unlike many of their recent entries. Probably shouldn't have been last, although this does seem to have been a stronger semifinal.
1st: Santa Fe - Samba House (24 points)
2nd: Mirela - Nada es comparable a ti (18 points)
3rd: Isi - Ahora no (17 points)
4th: Julia Bermejo - Ya no estás (14 points)
Lost:
5th: El Secreto de Álex - Por esta vez (13 points)
Really good pop-rock, with joyous guitars and a real 60s summer feeling. The lead singer gives a great performance - strong vocals, but lots of acting and camera interaction too - it's a proper performance which more than does the song justice. By far the best thing we've seen in Spain in so far - the melody and guitar line are just fantastic. A shame this didn't go further.
6th: Dulce - Bésame (8 points)
Sounds like a 2002 Eurovision entry from some anonymous Mediterranean country. It's a good piece of summery pop, complete with WHITE OUTFITS and random BIG DRUMS. How many more 21st century Eurovision cliches can we pack in? A lesbian dance, perhaps? Some of the vocals are slightly painful towards the end, but I'll give it a pass - good song, good performance.
=7th: Remembrances - Espejismo (7 points)
And it's the Spanish Evanescence. The song is good, but it's not the most confident vocal performance I've heard - she's mostly in tune, but it could do with a bit more strength; her vocals sound a little wobbly in places. The woman flailing around behind her dressed as a shuttlecock is entirely unnecessary.
=7th: Biquini - Una chica normal (7 points)
More full-on 60s flower-power stuff. In Spanish. Natch. And entirely out of tune. Natch. In fact, I can't even tell what melody they're trying to sing, or what this is even supposed to sound like. Without doubt, this is the most atrociously out-of-tune performance I've ever witnessed. No amount of mindlessly gleeful hand jiving can rescue it. Someone should warn Macedonia's "XXL" that they have competition. The song ends; as Biquini leave the stage, there is a mixture of cheering and booing. Some people are saying "Boo-erns". That says it all. "Una chica normal"? "Una chica atonal" would be more like it.
9th: Beatriz - ¿Dónde te metes? (5 points)
And it's the return of the upside-down question mark! How we've missed you, ¿.
Upbeat country music, complete with a bunch of guys and gals in cowboy hats, line-dancing. The song is alright, and Beatriz certainly gives an animated performance. Apart from the fact it's in Spanish, this is one of the more authentic country songs I've heard in this year's selections. It's genuinely fun.
10th: Solydo - Tú (3 points)
TECHNO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, who cares about the vocals? It's just nice to hear a great beat like that. The tune's not bad, and there's a nice dark vibe to the whole thing. With a proper presentation and stronger vocals, this wouldn't have embarassed Spain at Eurovision - unlike many of their recent entries. Probably shouldn't have been last, although this does seem to have been a stronger semifinal.
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